Tournament la Dissidia Duodecim
by Lord Xamweth Oudeis
Summary: The first Dissidia Duodecim Final Fantasy Tournament has begun! Accepting reviews for which characters will be fighting which characters. Rules for suggestions and an accompanying rant are listed in the story.
1. Arrival

Dissidia Duodecim Tournament

Prologue

000

Note: this is going to be told in the third person, even though I refer to myself as I. (That's right, I cameo in this one!)

000

The Warrior of Light looked around at his surroundings. However, there was nothing to see, except a balcony that seemingly emerged from nothing around five metres above his head. All around him were all of his comrades and foes from the war.

Cloud Strife, Sephiroth, Jecht and Squall Leonhart constantly kept their weapons at the ready, while Bartz Klauser, Kefka Palazzo and Zidane Tribal were running around, desperately trying to find something in this empty void. Terra Branford remained nearby the Onion Knight, and a bored Tidus had struck up a conversation with Firion, Kuja, Golbez and Cecil Harvey to see how they'd been keeping up after Chaos's defeat. Emperor Mateus, the Cloud of Darkness, Ultimecia and Exdeath stood in the non-existent corner, keeping away from everyone else, and the Warrior's eternal enemy, Garland, stood next to him in complete silence

The Warrior kept a lookout for whoever had brought them all here, and especially kept an eye on the former Warriors of Chaos to make sure they didn't pull any tricks.

Then, everyone noticed movement up on the balcony; a tall, hooded man in a black cloak stood there now, looking out at the crowd.

"Vocal test, speech-giving vocal test," I said, testing my speech-giving voice. "Ahem-hum-hum, la la la la la, Sally sells seashells by the seashore, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Topeka, Kansas, Topeka, Kansas, Topeka, Kansas … okay."

Everyone stared in me in confusion. I noticed all of the stares and decided to be right to it.

"So, everyone, I bet you're all wondering why I brought you here to this void." I paused. "Oh, wait, wait, if it's a void, there won't be any air, so you won't be able to hear me, so…"

"We can hear you fine!" Bartz called. "Get on with it!"

"Really?" I exclaimed. "Oh, good! Anyway, we're still missing some people, but they're going to be here in … 3, 2, 1 …"

At that point, there was a flash of light, and ten more people appeared: Kain Highwind, Gilgamesh, Tifa Lockhart, Laguna Loire, Yuna, Shantotto, Prishe, Vaan, Gabranth, and Lightning.

"AHA!" cried Gilgamesh. "I have returned! My exile is at an end!" Then he noticed Exdeath. "Oh, crap."

"Exactly what I was thinking," said Tifa, looking warily at Sephiroth and Ultimecia.

"Okay, now that everyone's here, I can begin!" I said.

"Begin with what?" Lightning said, clearly not happy at this new development.

"The first ever Dissidia Duodecim Tournament!" I pronounced cheerfully.

Not surprisingly, everyone looked at each other, confused at this announcement.

"Odd," I remarked. "Usually, that announcement is met with cheers. Oh, right! I need to introduce myself! I am Lord Xamweth Oudeis. Anyway, I was sitting in my bedroom, just playing games, reading books, all the usual stuff, when suddenly, it hits me: how about I do something that no-one else has done before; something that –"

"Um, how long will it take," Prishe interrupted, "before you get to your point?"

I glared at the fighter. "I'm sorry, you didn't cheer at my announcement; it's too late to buy into the premise. Anywho, I am starting a tournament featuring you guys!"

Needless to say, no-one but me looked thrilled at this idea.

"The rules are simple," I continued. "I will pit random foes against each other in an epic clash of power. There will be five rounds to the tournament, with the later ones featuring battles based off how many wins each person has. You know, winners will fight winners, losers will fight losers, et cetera, et cetera."

Everyone looked at each other, trying to understand my idea.

"Each round will have sixteen fights, and the winner will be whoever wins in all five rounds."

"Hold!" Gabranth called. "You say there will be sixteen fights, and yet there only thirty of us. It is not possible for this tournament to commence."

"You will encounter the other two fighters in the tournament, and I hate it when people interrupt me!" he snapped. "Now, shush! Now then, in between fights, you will stay here." At my last word, an enormous mansion materialized behind the group. "Sleep well, and enjoy yourselves in this tournament to end all tournaments!"

With that, the balcony vanished with me on it.

The warriors looked at the mansion, then back at the spot where I was. Then they headed for the front door, wondering exactly what I had planned.

000

I know, I know, I suck at writing, don't I?

Anyway, if anyone wants to write about what happens in the mansion in between matches, they can help themselves. I'm more interested in the tournament itself.

Lord Xamweth Oudeis


	2. Shantotto vs Kefka

Dissidia Duodecim Tournament

Round 1: Battle 1

Shantotto vs. Kefka Palazzo on Sky Fortress Bahamut

000

Kefka Palazzo came through the portal and almost instantly nearly fell off the walkway of the Sky Fortress Bahamut. His arms frantically pin-wheeled as he successfully pulled himself back at the last second, and then nearly fell off the other side of the walkway.

Something for me to smile at, at least.

By the time Kefka had finally managed to keep himself on the walkway without nearly plummeting to the ground about 5,000 feet below, Shantotto had come through and was practicing her attacks for the first match of the tournament.

"Such hilarity considering you are a clown," he said. "But I'm more than sure your magicks will be the factor of this match to let you down! Ohohohoho!"

"Now, now, Shantotto," I called from my balcony. "There'll be tons of time for friendly taunts like that in today's match. And Kefka, I do NOT want any funny business, got it?"

"Who? Me?" Kefka asked innocently.

"Yeah, you," I replied. "I know all about your destructive urges. I want you to apply those urges in fighting, NOT destroying the arena. Is that understood?"

Kefka was shocked. No destruction? Destruction was what he lived for! He couldn't stand not being able to destroy anything!

"Oh come on!" the clown pleaded, dropping to one knee and clasping his hands in front of him. "Couldn't I destroy the stage just a little bit? Just a teensy weensy bit?"

"You will receive a warning if you destroy something," I ordered. "If I have to warn you a third time, you will, I repeat, WILL be disqualified. That means you lose the round, and your chance to stake your claim as Dissidia's greatest fighter."

Kefka let the words sink in, and realized he had a choice. Should he destroy the arena and lose the chance to prove that he was the best fighter in the world, or should he quash his needs and 'play' nice, thus being eligible to prove what he knew to be true?

"Fine," he mumbled miserably. "I'll play nice."

"Good to hear," I grinned. "Now, without further ado, let the games begin!" And with that, a gong materialized next to me, which I struck with much gusto.

Kefka turned to Shantotto. "Well, Shantotto," he called, "it looks like now's the time for you to show me what you can do! There's only one of me, too, you know! This is your chance to SHINE!"

"Do you never cease your talk?" Shantotto inquired. "You give everyone a headache when you open your mouth, especially when everyone asks you to stop and you balk. Let us stop mulling about like cattle, and commence with the battle!"

"Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, whatever," the clown conceded. "I'll just shut up and start launching fireballs or something, okay? Just get on with the 'showing me that you can actually put up a fight' part already!"

"Then prepare yourself, clown, for a wicked fight! Be warned, though: I'll be the one who sets your pants alight!"

And with that, they both charged each other.

000

Kefka started the fight with a Waggle-Wobbly Firaga … which was promptly interrupted by a Flare from Shantotto. Kefka instantly retaliated with a ton of Extra-Crispy Firagas, which were all deflected due to Shantotto using Quake to block the attacks.

"It is very unwise to judge me by size," Shantotto warned the clown.

A nonplussed Kefka sent out a bunch of Twisty-Turny Blizzagas, but Shantotto jumped them all, and dodged the Scatter Spray Blizzaga that the clown had sneakily sent her way with a well-timed Tornado. Kefka struck back with a Zap-Trap and Lickety-Split Thundaga, but due to Shantotto's tiny stature, she easily avoided both attacks and struck him with a Burst.

"You know, I detest persistent pests," remarked Shantotto.

By this point, Kefka was starting to get annoyed. He shot out Meteor after Meteor, and Ultima after Ultima, but nothing would touch her. He even tried numerous Trines, Hyperdrives and Havoc Wings, but Shantotto deflected the lot with Floods and eventually nabbed him with a Freeze spell.

"You're doing well, for someone who can barely handle my powerful magic," Shantotto taunted. "A little bit of work, and maybe your days as a total loser won't be so tragic."

At this, I instantly thought, _Oh snap._

"A TOTAL LOSER, AM I?" Kefka roared. "WELL, whaddaya think of … THIS?"

At the last word, he transformed into his Ex Mode and unleashed a spell of his own creation: Forsaken Null. Needless to say, the mage wasn't prepared for this new attack, having never seen it before, and Kefka scored his first few hits of the match.

"Well, now," a now manic Kefka screamed, "do I look like a 'total loser' now? DO I?"

"Oh boy, here we go," I muttered.

Kefka shot countless attacks at Shantotto, and this time, every single attack connected due to the mage being dazed from the Forsaken Null.

Finally, Kefka leapt into the air and started glowing with energy. He then flung his arm down, and unleashed his ultimate attack: the Light of Judgement. Shantotto was engulfed in the attack and caught in the explosion that followed.

After the final explosion, Kefka drifted down to the ground and reverted to normal. He gazed at the crater he'd made and turned to the balcony.

"That counts as a warning, right?" Kefka asked me, jerking his thumb at the crater.

A glare was all the answer I gave him.

"That's a yes," Kefka answered his own question, and with that started to walk away.

However, the earth in the crater started to rumble. Kefka heard the noise and turned around with a "Hm?" He approached the rim of the crater, peering into the pit with interest.

A interest that was quickly cut short by an Ultima spell getting shoved in his face.

"Now, I'm MAD!" shrieked a furious and severely burnt Shantotto.

For a split second, Kefka thought, _Oh good me, what have I done?_ Then Shantotto smashed her staff into his nose and sent him flying into the massive doors beneath my balcony, leaving the thought behind like a speech bubble.

Shantotto was on him in an instant, pummeling him with a Flare, a Flood, a Burst, a Quake, a Tornado and a Freeze in extremely quick succession. Then she summoned all six of her spells, and slammed them all into the already heavily damaged Kefka before preparing a Skillchain: Fusion and an Ultima to finish off the magical barrage.

"You brought this, clown, upon yourself!" Shantotto yelled, prior to unleashing the Skillchain and Ultima. "Now I'm driven to the destruction of your health!"

She then unleashed the spells and finished of the clown and the match.

"Incon…ceivable…" Kefka murmured before passing out, lodged in his own imprint on the wall.

I gaped at the destruction under my balcony, and at the tiny warrior who caused it.

"Okay," I said. "Not entirely sure what just happened there, but who cares? Shantotto just won the first match of the season! And a lifetime supply of burn salve, if she wants it."

"Oh, are we done already?" Shantotto wondered, while manikin medics worked on trying to figure out how to remove Kefka from the wall. "That was a quick first match of the season. My apologies, but I just went ballistic for no reason."

And with that, she departed through the fresh portal that had materialized and left the Sky Fortress Bahamut behind.

000

Well, that was the first match of my tournament, done and done. Looks like Shantotto is moving on to the next round.

Next match: Gilgamesh and the Onion Knight at the Edge of Madness!

Lord Xamweth Oudeis


End file.
